Human Mystery Novel

"Beauty is not only a terrible thing, it is also a mysterious thing.

There God and the Devil strive for mastery, and the battleground is the heart of men."

                                 

                                             -Fyodor Dostoyevsky

     Hello, everyone! It's been some time since you've heard from me; you must forgive me as I'm in Afghanistan and it is sometimes difficult to find the time to just sit and write. Nevertheless, I have finally found the time (and hot chocolate) necessary to do another article!

Today’s article is actually related to my first article, Do You See What I See?. In it, I talked of the magic of feminine beauty and how it is incredibly captivating. One of the main sources of that magic, and perhaps vice versa, is the deep mystery God has written in the spirit of every girl and woman. This mystery is one of the most intriguing you will ever come across, and should stir up a desire in all men to don a detective cap and solve the case! The heart and life of a woman is a mystery novel, and as in all such novels, we’re first presented with the mystery itself, but eventually the great detective appears on the scene and spends the rest of the novel ever working to solve it. This endeavour must take up the entirety of novel, for if the mystery were easy and the detective solved everything early on in the novel, the book is still about the mystery, but from here on out, it will be boring - basically, the mystery is gone! The same is true of a woman’s life and love; the moment you decide you’ve learned all there is to know and all the mystery is gone, she will become a bore. This is where the problem is. We’ve stopped wanting to be detectives.

You’d think such an opportunity to have a lifetime (read marriage) devoted to getting to know better and better the mysterious beauty and majesty of a woman, the jewel in the crown of God’s creation, would be impossible to turn down . However, in a world where we have many, many things simply handed to us, it’s more than understandable how we would begin to want women to fall into that category as well. The work of solving a woman is still…work; and it always takes years, a lifetime, to accomplish. Perhaps this is why we’ve stopped wanting to be Robert Downey Jr. or Basil Rathbone (both famous for portraying Sherlock Holmes on the big screen), and shift to being simply another faceless consumer in the theatre, using the mystery for simple entertainment and having the mystery solved for us. Perhaps this is why pornography plagues the world today on such a disgustingly open and rampant level.

Solving a woman’s mystery requires us to sacrifice time, commitment, money, care, and every fibre of who we are. It is not always easy. So if something comes our way promising the same pleasure and gratification, but without all those bothersome sacrifices on our part, why wouldn’t we say yes??? Why take months or years just getting to know this girl over here without actually “getting some,” and then end up stuck confined to only her for the rest of our life when that girl over there will reveal everything right here, right now, no strings attached, and still let us be free to move on to the next girl whenever we want???

The thing is, this is not true romance. This is degradation. It falls short of our calling as men. We were meant to protect the woman and be the hero of her heart, but pornography and illicit sex only makes her an object of our gratification and she exists only to fulfil our pleasure. Sex becomes not a sacred act between lovers becoming one love, physically symbolising the safety and care each gives the other, but instead an empty, casual (read meaningless) activity meant to please and focus on only us. The man takes all and gives nothing.  There is no way we can label this as anything but utter selfishness and abuse.

Jesus told us that simply looking at a woman lustfully is the exact same as adultery. When we think about it, it makes sense, doesn’t it? Lust may not necessarily involve physically acting on thoughts, but when we do engage in physical action, good or bad, it is because we preconceived to do so in the mind. That is where the battle really is. Even if you never actually do it, if you still dwell on it in your mind, it really is the same as refusing to resist it. This goes the same for singles as well. Perhaps you may not have an actual wife or significant other of any sort on earth, but Christ still calls us to be his lover, and dwelling on lust is essentially a way of cheating on Christ, and this is really true of any sin.

In fact, although a lot of men think it makes them feel like a man at the time, it is actually weakness. Think about it: any weakling can sit in front of a screen and look at air-brushed beauties or pay for detached, empty sexual favours from a stranger, but it takes strength to win the heart of a woman. Sure a dumb animal might mate indiscriminately, but we were designed as men and not dumb animals; we have I higher calling: a calling to strength. If strength is our calling, and we show strength in the pursuit of a woman’s heart, strength will define us; but if we behave like any dumb animal might, what does that say about what defines us?  If a man tries to draw his mascuiline strength and identity from the women he can get, he will never be truly masculine, and any strength he has will have to be relied upon from outside and he will never be truly strong in himself.

Even putting all the moral and theological aspects of it aside, let’s look at it regarding women themselves. I saw a film once where, towards the end, the girl is finally asked to dance by the popular guy who always has attractive girls around him. While dancing, he tells her he actually has a thing for just her. She is of course pleased as punch, but asks why he feels this way since up until now he’s always been surround by girls to whom she feels inferior. He explains that a guy likes to just have fun and mess around for a while, but eventually he wants to settle down and focus on just one girl. This may be innocuous enough in school with innocent crushes and flings, but it becomes a completely different story once you involve any form of sensuality. Really now, what girl wants to be told that he wants her now because he’s had his fun and ready to “settle” with her. What girl wants to simply be a settlement, a left-over, from after his real fun? Yes, anymore, all too many guys hear the word “marriage,” and think of it as the end of freedom and fun, but they fail to see that when done right, that is where true adventure is: the adventure of the mystery.

However, the fault is not wholly on the part of men. Women too are so often deceived in this area of life. Women are designed to long to be noticed, to be wanted, to be captivating. But so many girls believe the lie that their beauty doesn’t measure up, that their mystery isn’t worth being solved. When this happens, they assume the only way they will receive the attention they long for is to give men a shortcut, ruining their own mystery, and then wonder later why he's bored with her and he starts cheating or simply leaves. Even if they do not consciously desire for men to ogle their body, as the saying goes, if you don’t want to sell or want people to think you’re selling either, then you probably shouldn’t advertise. How many women are guilty of wearing something a tad bit revealing, calling attention to some aspect of her body, and then turns around disgusted when they notice a a guy is looking her there instead of her face. Their mystery is ruined in the way they act, the way they dress, or the way they talk.

This is tragedy at it’s worst. Perhaps one of Satan’s most devious attacks on mankind, deceiving the jewel in the crown of God’s creation into believing that it is no jewel at all. This is not what womankind was designed for; it is certainly not the dream deep in their heart. Little girls parade themselves looking like hookers, trying to call attention to their bodies, right? NO! They dress up in wedding gowns and dresses trying to call attention to their beauty. “Daddy, do I look pretty?” is the question every eight-year-old girl has, even if she never verbally asks it. Feminine beauty goes so much deeper than just physical sexuality, and a woman longs for this to be recognised by a man; to be seen not merely as a collection of anatomical parts, but as a person. She longs for a man to get to know not just her body, but also her.

This is a battle which, although men take much of the brunt (and criticism) in it, is fought in the hearts and minds of men and women alike. But there is hope! Even if you’ve lost countless battles of this sort in the past, the war for your life is still very winnable! If men and women will fight together and help each other, this scourge can and will be defeated. Paul tells us that Christ gives us His own strength, the strength that created the solar system and that overcame excruciating pain and sorrow, to accomplish anything. All we have to do is accept it from Him, be willing to fight it out and mean it, and He will come through. You can be a captivating, mysterious woman for the man you love, and you can be a strong, heroic man for the woman you love!